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#Became happier and learned to love myself #The children's unconditional smiles #Felt overwhelming love and gratitude
"In order to become ‘I’m okay’ no matter what others say, you must first make yourself comfortable, like yourself, and cheer for yourself. So when a time comes that you lose your way, just let it be; if someone truly cares about you, they will find their way back. After my gap year, I often thought, ''I like myself.'' And as I came to love myself, I also began to love the people around me."
Giving love to Vietnamese children with my small talents alongside foreign friends Kim Young-joo — gap-year participant (gapper) / 12-week gap year
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# I hoped that through my gap year I would become happy and learn to love myself.
Hello, I’m Kim Young-joo and I turned 23 this year; I had a birthday during my gap year. After receiving consulting, I finished my first gap year in the Philippines and was planning to go to Thailand for volunteer work, but the application had closed so I came to Vietnam.
I looked into other projects too — India or Africa — but volunteer programs concerning children with disabilities were only available in the Vietnam project.For some reason I just wanted to try it. Maybe because it was an unusual project, I simply wanted to do it. I wanted to give myself a challenge.
I hoped that through my gap year I would become happy and learn to love myself.
# I’m so happy — what would it have been like if I hadn’t known this?
As the project description states, after arrival there is an orientation about the organization and the project, and during that week we also do a Hanoi city tour with the friends who arrived together.
And the following week you begin your volunteer work. You wake up around 8 a.m., wash up and have a simple breakfast. Then you take a bus to the organization where you volunteer. You work briefly in the morning, have lunch and free time, and then continue with the afternoon schedule.
I play with the kids almost every day, or when I have nothing to do alone my thoughts about myself fade away; usually after the day’s volunteering ends I return to the accommodation, rest, eat dinner, and finish by watching a movie I like.
In Vietnam, motorcycles are the main means of transportation and outnumber cars. So when walking the streets you can be taken aback and sometimes feel in danger from the relentless stream of motorcycles, but once I hopped on a local staff member’s motorcycle and rode down an open, clear road.
The sun was warm, and seeing the many tall trees passing over my head and feeling the wind toss my hair, I felt a somewhat thrilling, slightly risky joy I had never experienced and an exhilarating sense of freedom.While riding I kept thinking about what it would have been like if I hadn’t applied for a Vietnam gap year — ''I’m so happy; what would it have been like if I hadn’t known this?''
# Who would smile at me like this without expecting anything in return? Am I someone who deserves such a smile?
I started a project caring for children with disabilities, but because I lacked understanding about them, it was difficult at first. I didn’t know how to spend time with them or how to interact with a shy child — everything felt awkward and frustrating for me.
I kept thinking that I needed to treat these kids well and that I shouldn’t look at them with a negative perspective. As I spent time with them, I realized they’re just people and not that different from me. From then on I felt I didn’t have to feel unfamiliar with them. Rather, I had been drawing the dividing line myself.
Originally I wasn’t able to sincerely feel emotions or empathize with someone’s feelings, but at the first center where I stayed I felt ''emotion'' for the first time.While spending time together, I sometimes got annoyed with kids who didn’t cooperate and grew tired of the frustration, but when those kids greeted me, smiled, hugged me, and expressed love, I gradually became like that too.
I really felt the same emotions. What I can’t forget is one friend who liked me smiling brightly at me as usual in the space where I was; at that time I was thinking of changing volunteer centers, but that friend’s bright smile made me feel so sad, so happy, so grateful, and overwhelmed.
Who would smile at me like this without expecting anything in return? Am I someone who deserves such a smile? When will I ever see such a bright smile again? These thoughts nearly brought me to tears.So I was extremely grateful to that friend — it’s a precious memory that made me realize I’m someone deserving of that.
# My personal Vietnam destinations
In Vietnam I visited Halong Bay and Ninh Binh; people mainly go to Halong Bay, Sapa, and Da Nang. For Halong Bay I took a 1-night, 2-day cruise trip, spending a day on a small boat arranged through a local travel agency.
Travel agencies are so numerous even just in the Old Quarter that they’re easy to find; or if you type the place name into Google you’ll see many options. I visited Ninh Binh as a day trip through another agency. Both are beautiful places, and Vietnam’s environment is similar to China’s — not exactly the same, but you can feel a similar atmosphere.
# My gap year tips
(Language)
Actually, I learned a bit of English in the Philippines and felt confident. I thought, "This is fine~" But there was a reason. In the Philippines, I was only with other Asian friends, and although the classes mainly aimed at speaking, because it was an academy it wasn''t practical conversation, and the speed was different from real life. So I didn''t feel much difficulty then, but in Vietnam it was completely different.
At that time I was the only Korean, and aside from the local office staff, the friends I lived with every day were all Europeans. So the beginning was really hard. I had high hopes of communicating a lot, but I felt great despair at the real English of friends who used English like a native without much trouble, and I found the variety of Englishes with different accents even more difficult.
So I remember spending almost a month going between extremes. However,Because I listened to it every day and used it even in short bursts to the point of nearly getting bored of English, at some point I started repeating my friends'' pronunciation and intonation with my own mouth, and I memorized commonly used everyday expressions and began using them out of habit.Listening still has parts that are difficult to understand, but the important thing is that hearing English with the local pronunciation no longer feels jarring.
What I later realized is that having lots of conversations is the most important thing. Don''t stress about grammar — it''s important to just say words or even single short phrases.If you''re worried about the other person''s reaction, let go of that anxiety. If someone truly wants to talk with you and get to know you, they won''t mind mistakes in grammar or pronunciation.
(Accommodation)
Houses in Vietnam are multi-level and typically have five floors; this environment may be unfamiliar to Koreans. There are many stairs, so before coming make sure you have the stamina to go up and down them every day. The Wi‑Fi isn''t as fast as in Korea but it''s still decent; however it sometimes doesn''t work, so bring a little patience.
There are on average more than five roommates in a room, so it can be fun but also uncomfortable. Everyone has different lifestyles, and while it may be inconvenient, don''t feel you have to always be the one to accommodate others when you''re uncomfortable. If you''re uncomfortable, I think it''s better to express it for both parties'' sake. I learned and realized this while living with foreign friends who are more individualistic.
(Meals)
When you first arrive you''ll like it. The food isn''t very different from what we usually eat, so you probably won''t be picky. But that''s only for a while — because there''s a fixed routine you might feel bored at some point. In my case, besides boredom, I sometimes felt the food was too greasy, so for that reason I avoided certain dishes.
So if you want something different, it''s fine to go out to eat sometimes.The best is to eat Korean food, so it''s a good idea to bring instant noodles or basic seasonings you might want..
(What to bring)
Basically everyone brings a laptop to spend their free time, so it''s good to bring one. The accommodation doesn''t provide slippers, so if you don''t wear slippers while eating your feet can get dirty and uncomfortable — please bring some.
Medicine is essential; it''s good to bring medicines for various situations. Without going through local staff, it can be difficult to buy the proper medicine at a pharmacy due to communication issues.
# To those planning a gap year
You''ll come having painted many different dreams, but once you arrive things may not go as well as expected. So you''ll feel impatient, and the pressure of feeling you must do something within the framework of volunteering and that you have to change can make you lose your way.
If such a depressive time comes, I hope you give yourself enough time to just be depressed.If you''re annoyed, feel it; if you''re sad, feel it — express what you feel and spend that time. The most important thing is that after such sadness you must take time to comfort yourself.
I hope you forget that impatience — thinking "it should be like this," "I look weak," or "I should change." Even in this place you came to by your own choice, I think it''s right to live freely and comfortably without worrying about others'' opinions. Recently I happened to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and found a line that matched my feelings.
''You don''t have to be useful — it''s chocolate, after all.''
Watching that, it was a line that suited both me during my gap year and me now. Once you''ve started a gap year you want to do better than anyone, you don''t want to waste it, and you think you must match the dreams you''ve imagined. But I don''t think that''s necessary.
There''s no need to compare yourself to anyone, and this is time you made because you needed it — how could what you do be wasted? Even if someone else sees it as ''useless'' time, for you, even that ''uselessness'' might be the time you need.
I used to think that it was only other people who made me sad, but I realized that I also make things hard for myself. No matter what others say, for me to be okay I need to first make myself comfortable, like myself, and cheer myself on.
So when a time comes that you lose your way, just let it be. If someone truly cares about me, they will find their way back.After taking a gap year, I often thought, "I like myself." And as I came to love myself, I also came to love the people around me.
My gap year was
Experience★★★★★
Just being away from an environment I''m familiar with alone earns it a high rating.
Learning★★★★☆
While there is learning from the volunteer work in line with the program''s purpose, the learning I gained during my time alone was greater.
Environment★★★☆☆
As expected, there are inconveniences that come with a different environment: the weather, the food, and the people around you.
Safety★★★★☆
It''s relatively safe, but it seems to depend on the individual.
Leisure★★★★☆
Vietnam has many places to visit, but outside of travel, simple short outings aren''t very diverse.
Capturing the growth journeys
of our participants.
