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#Became stronger and less hardened; easing of obsessive tendencies #An experience that strengthened me on my own; relationships with a variety of people #Three months of youth feel long; Paris that evokes nostalgia
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I found many things I could do through my own effort, and I believe those small experiences will come together to become the driving force for my next challenge. When the next challenge comes, I will, again, make myself stronger.
-Paris, France, Gap Year Stay / Jo Hye-rimGap year participant (gapper) / 8-week gap year |
Currently, in South Korea,
60,000 middle and high school students drop out each year; 346,000 people in their twenties are idle with no dreams; the rate of job turnover within one year of employment has entered the 40% range,75% of university students are not satisfied with their college life, and more than 80% of workers do not feel happy.Many people tell them to dream, but to solve this problem that lacks practical methods and support, we want to introduce the ''gap year'' to South Korea as well.
''Gap year (Gapyear)''refers to a time to either combine study and work or to pause temporarily and, through various activities such as volunteering, travel, internships, education, and entrepreneurship,be a period for setting the direction to move forward — a culture encouraged in the United States, Europe, Japan, and elsewhere.
I resolved to make myself stronger.
One summer in 2000, my father sent my seven-year-old sibling to the hill behind our neighborhood at ten o''clock at night. With a small backpack containing a bag of potato chips and water, my sibling set off on the trail. When they returned after a long while, they said they had climbed to the top and eaten snacks, and recounted a dizzying moment passing by nameless graves. The usually tearful and timid child, with big double-lidded bright eyes, still held fear, but otherwise shone full of confidence. I cannot forget my sibling''s gaze and tone from that day. I also strongly remember my father and mother''s proud expressions.
Sending a seven-year-old son into the mountain in the middle of the night was probably my parents'' drastic measure for my sibling, but indeed my sibling later grew into a confident, positive, and sometimes cheeky young adult.As graduation approached and I realized I had been raising that inner boy within me, I too had no choice but to take drastic measures like my parents.
I was afraid of and burdened by the worldly choices I had to make. Worry generated more worry, and fear did the same.To avoid being trapped in that situation, I started a project for the child inside me, which became the ''Gap Year Paris Stay Project.'' I wanted to push myself to ''survive somehow'' by working with complete strangers in a completely new place.
I believe my father probably had similar thoughts. My father, who often traveled to Paris on business, showed me a video of a performance I did in Montmartre when I was in high school and hoped I would stay in Paris when I became an adult. Because I couldn''t clearly understand the reason, the city of Paris intrigued me even more, and I wondered what was in the place where my father stood in the photo and what he was looking at.Even now, after returning from Paris, I can only guess why my father said that, but at least I feel a certain pride simply for having safely returned from the jungle-like Europe where my father might have thrown me without hesitation.
For three months I spent nearly all my free time and travel period alone, fully experiencing every sensation.The fear when the subway had a problem and people poured out, the joy of talking with foreign travelers who were traveling alone, the taste of a sweet crepe made with white chocolate and Nutella — all of those were mine alone.And by going through and overcoming those countless moments of fear, joy, and loneliness on my own, I became stronger.
Three months of youth is long. It was a time when I could learn more about myself.
Through my major (special education) and previous experiences (part-time jobs, internships, etc.), I thought I knew a lot about dealing with people and had many varied experiences, but the gap year project made me realize that was arrogance and made me more humble.While preparing for a service job, I joined the gap year project and, when I first became staff, I wanted to provide the best service to every guest.
Of course that intention itself is good, but what is uncomfortable for me inevitably shows to others as well.Excessive kindness above all leads to a decrease in one''s stamina. Also, because of the nature of guesthouses, you spend a lot of time with guests, so it is difficult to maintain your initial friendliness. Therefore, I realized that by moderating the degree of service, the person providing the service can continue to provide consistent service.
No matter what you do, things don''t go exactly as you wish. If the situation cannot change, you must change. The tour staff activities I was assigned were not the work I originally wanted. I was better suited to morning activities — getting up early, staying inside, caring for guests and tidying the lodging. But because I had to do it, I decided to combine my major, ''education,'' with ''tour'' and think of myself as a teacher. In that process I learned to comply and adapt. As I did tours, I found them somewhat enjoyable and worked hard, and later guests told me, ''You were such a good tour guide; it was fun,'' which made me proud.
And I learned certain manners of conduct I can apply to my upcoming working life. I realized that what a newcomer must do is make mistakes, take knocks, and work hard.Work hard, but admitting and correcting what you''re clumsy at is also a way of being considerate to the staff who were there before. Also, after experiencing several leaders and thinking, ''If I were in that situation, how would I act and what would I say?'' I realized for myself what to keep in mind when starting something in the future.
Finally, I also felt that all of these things must be realized and practiced by oneself. No matter where you are or who you''re with, if you don''t respond sensitively to situations, think about them, and reflect, life in Paris is nothing more and nothing less than a trip.Three months of youth is long. I learned that it''s a time to enjoy Paris as much as possible, carry out staff duties, and establish my own sense of self.
Days when everyone matured together through the process of working together.
The people who taught me the most were the fellow staff members I worked with. During the total 10-week period of activities in Paris, considering the staff rotation cycle, you typically experience 6–7 staff members per person. Until you meet your fellow staff in person, you don''t know their ages, genders, or names, and you have to live and work together. Not all the staff I met could be said to be people who suited me well.
But that didn''t matter. No one will be exactly like me, and even if I stayed with someone identical to me, there would still be many difficulties.I think it''s not about whether you get along well with someone, but about whether you have the will to accommodate each other with a mindset of considering one another''s differences. Also, if someone is clumsy or lacking, you should know how to teach and wait for them. Everyone matures through that process.
During the project, the accommodation I was staying at changed once due to local circumstances. When I moved to the second place, I had learned the guesthouse activities to some extent, so I could get along with the staff without much difficulty and handle the work fairly skillfully. However, when I was first learning the activities at the first guesthouse, becoming close with the staff and with the guests was not easy. Guesthouse work can never be done sitting down comfortably or by focusing solely on one task.
Traveling in Paris is, in some respects, also part of being a guesthouse staff member, and getting to know and talking with guests is part of the job. Sometimes you might have to stop cleaning to help a guest with their travel route, or listen to guests'' complaints. When I first came as staff, everything was awkward and I hesitated even to speak to guests, and I blamed myself a lot. Looking back, I''m very grateful to the staff at the first accommodation who silently watched over and waited for me during those times.
My recommended Paris spot: cemeteries!
Interestingly, I wanted to visit the cemeteries even before arriving in Paris. Going there in person, where many famous French artists and philosophers are buried, I found it peaceful and serene.Seeing famous people and ordinary citizens lying together equally, without rank or distinction of money and fame, I was reminded of Paris''s history. Also, seeing that death is not taboo there made me feel the cultural differences.
Seeing flower beds made on the graves of those who returned to the earth made me feel the order of nature, and from the branches or stones placed as memorials I could sense sincerity amid fallen formality. It was new because it would be unimaginable in Korea, and at the same time I envied Parisians who sincerely honor the deceased in various ways.
Cemeteries that are like pretty parks where famous people are commemorated include Montparnasse Cemetery and Père Lachaise Cemetery, but you can also see cemeteries in Paris suburbs such as Auvers-sur-Oise and Giverny.
Paris — the place that will stir nostalgia in my life.
While in Paris I became stronger, but less hardened. Before spending three months in Paris, I didn''t know what it meant to be hurt and sad when alone, what it felt like to miss ''my people'', or what it meant to miss my family. I only thought I knew. However, being separated from everyone who looks after and cares for me, including family and friends, and adapting to a completely new environment was never easy. It was also an experience I would rather not repeat.
Before going to Paris, I thought I could live fine without returning to Korea for several years, but just a week after leaving home I found myself missing ''my people'' and longing for them. Even after I adapted, I often felt homesick and missed people and food; although that felt unfamiliar, I think I was able to discover this side of myself because I went to Paris.
During the roughly three months in Paris, it''s impossible to find my dream, find my identity, or eliminate my anxieties. I think those are lifelong tasks. Also, I failed to get rid of another issue of mine—my obsessive-compulsive habits. I had hoped to give up petty, compulsive hygiene rules I kept in Korea—washing bedding once a week, disinfecting belongings with alcohol, always washing hands with hand sanitizer—while in Europe, and become a more flexible person.
During the European trip these rules seemed to loosen a bit, but as soon as I arrived in Korea I found myself washing my hands ten times a day and running the washing machine every two days. However, I decided to accept these aspects as part of who I am. So I am still fearful and sometimes anxious, and I wash my hands over and over.But I found several things I could do through effort, and I believe those small experiences will come together to become the driving force for the next challenge. In the next challenge, I too will further strengthen myself.
Someday Paris will also be a place that evokes nostalgia for me. Maybe it will be on a day when cold air and a drizzling rain fall, or on a day I smell the buttery scent of a croissant. I think the people I met there, the countless works of art, and the street musicians together made me who I am now. I am so grateful to Paris, and I thank those who made it possible for me to participate in the Paris Stay Project.
Small tips for the next participants
I recommend taking good care of your health.Especially for winter participants, it''s easy to assume that Paris will be warmer than Korea based on temperature alone. However, Paris winters are much colder and longer than you''d expect. If you search travelogues online, you''ll find people saying they wore padded coats until early April — and that''s really true.
Paris weather is so changeable that you can experience all four seasons in one day, with large perceived temperature swings. So rather than bringing lots of pretty or expensive clothes, it''s better to pack one or two items of various types and buy what else you need locally. There are many clothes sold locally that are reasonable in price and design. A tip: for clothes that are awkward to buy because the season is about to change (especially heavy and expensive coats), it''s better to buy them cheaply at thrift stores or clearance shops, wear them, and leave them behind rather than buying brand new ones.
And make sure to bring medications that suit you personally.For cold medicine, there are well-known products in France, but bringing foods that are good for rhinitis or throat health and supplements for regular health care will be very helpful. Also, regarding feminine hygiene products...There are many personal hygiene products in French supermarkets that are similar in price or cheaper than in Korea. For feminine products, you don''t need to bring many from Korea.
Finally, in my case I didn''t like the French-style meals, but the bread was so delicious that I ate my fill.If you eat all the truly delicious things to your heart''s content, you won''t regret your food choices when you return to Korea.
My gap year is
Experience★★★★★
You can meet, talk with, and travel with a variety of people—many guests, staff, and the owner. It''s different from merely passing encounters between customer and service worker. Sharing meals and lodging, drinking together, and sometimes traveling together, I was able to meet many people over two months; it was an experience not easily obtained.
Learning★★★★★
The guesthouse where you''ll be working is small, but it is its own small community, so there are many opportunities to learn about and reflect on working life. In my case, I joined the gap year program immediately after graduating university and just before starting work, and I was able to think a lot about what makes a good leader and what makes a good new employee. This will differ depending on which topics you''re sensitive to, but with effort you can learn a great deal.
Environment★★★★☆
The accommodation was a bit removed from the city center, but precisely because of that I was satisfied to see many different sides of Paris. In addition, Paris is different from Seoul in that you can travel between almost all tourist sites by subway in about 30 minutes, so it didn''t feel far from the city. For someone who is partly a traveler, it might even be a better environment.
Safety★★★★☆
If you properly follow the usual ''travel safely'' rules, Paris is not a dangerous city. It''s helpful to go well-informed beforehand about pickpockets and fake-sign scam groups.
Leisure★★★★☆
Because of the ''kip'' system, you might feel like there''s not much absolute leisure time. However, I considered the Paris stay itself to be leisure, so I enjoyed my work. If you find a way to enjoy living at the accommodation, you can make your working time your own. As mentioned before, guesthouse work isn''t about focusing deeply on one thing, so if you enjoy taking care of guests and talking with them, the boundary between work and life becomes blurred before you know it.
This can be an advantage or a disadvantage. In my case, at the first accommodation I learned and played guitar with other staff, and there was a guest who was skilled with the guitar, so we bonded over it. At the second accommodation, I enjoyed leisure by sharing small snacks with the staff; taking a break when there were no guests to drink tea or eat bread remains a very fond memory even now.
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