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#Gained certainty about my dream after wandering #A newfound place of solace in Busan, new connections #Gained the composure to embrace fear
I didn''t know where to begin fixing things again. In that situation, I decided to wander until the end. I wanted to know how far I could deliberate. I joined a gap year to wander and to think things through.
-The place where new connections are made, Busan! Gap Year Stay / Park Minju Gap-year family, gapper / 4 weeks of gap year |
#Everything started to feel frightening.
First, I want to talk about the reasons and motivations for applying to the gap year.
As a second-year university student, I began to feel afraid of all the choices I would have to make going forward.
I had no idea about employment, job roles, or even which major to choose and which classes to take right away.
Is the field I''m studying now really what I want to do? When that question arose, I began to wander.
Until then I had thought this work was my calling, but as time passed my certainty gradually faded.
Because of that, I felt as if my roots were shaking.
#I decided to wander to the very end.
I didn''t know where to begin fixing things again.In that situation I decided to wander until the end.
I wanted to know how far I could contemplate things.
I joined the gap year to wander and to reflect.
Moreover, I hoped that at the end of wandering and worrying I would be left with certainty about my dream.
#The beginning that started with vague fear
At first it began with a vague fear.
I couldn''t even clearly tell others why I had applied for this program.
It''s accurate to say I lacked confidence within myself.
After coming down to Busan, I had no sense of where I should go even the next day, so at first I was filled only with fear.
In fact, I knew I would struggle with fear and be flustered by unfamiliar things.
Perhaps because of that, I was able to enjoy the fear.
I wanted to fully feel the tension that would fade with time.
Looking back, I think I could remain at ease because I believed this feeling would someday become the foundation for another challenge.
While working as a gapper, I slowly grew accustomed to the guesthouse’s stairs and building.
I went out to eat with the managers, and on days when I didn''t have much to do I would sit at the counter all day chatting.
In that way I built my own place of solace in Busan, where I had no connections.
Thinking I had found a new refuge, the rest of the trip felt much more enjoyable.
I believed that new experiences were necessary to gain certainty about my career path.
#I met a side of myself I didn''t even know.
When I meet new people and try things I haven''t done before, I can discover sides of myself I didn''t know.
Before going to Busan, I was someone who disliked traveling.
After actually traveling, there wasn''t the excitement I had expected, and I was tired of everything not going according to my plans.
I worked as a guest house staff member, but I shared a room with the guests.
Every day I met new people, and most of them were people who liked traveling.
I was curious why those people liked traveling. I asked them whenever the person staying changed.
"Why do you like traveling?"
I thought they would be able to answer immediately, but perhaps it was a question they hadn''t thought about before.
No one gave the answer I expected. After that, I changed the question.
"When you travel, what''s the first thing you look at?"
Strangely, they answered this question immediately without hesitation.
To drink coffee, to see how restaurants are run, to feel the history, etc. The answers were varied.
As we talked more, I realized that their ways of traveling closely resembled their dreams.
The person who traveled to drink coffee was aiming to become a barista, and the person who paid attention to restaurant operations was studying business administration.
When I discovered that their dreams and travel styles were similar, I thought that to find my own dream I should pay attention to my own way of traveling.
#The certainty I gained about myself, and the new value of travel I discovered
After thinking it over, I realized that wherever I traveled, I wanted to see the schools and the students in them.
It was the moment I gained certainty in the field of education.
At the same time, it was also the moment I found a new value in travel.
Except for the first week, which was my adjustment period to Busan, I was always looking for new people.
I used a Naver cafe called ''ByteTrain'' and hung out with guests who visited the guest house.
In the process, I met some really strange people and even experienced dangerous situations.
However, I also met people from various professions, listened to their hardships, and grew close to some by sharing travel stories.
Even now, after my gap year activities ended, we still keep in touch and sometimes meet.
Having met many people, I think I was able to find some good people.
Most travelers came with friends—middle school classmates, high school classmates, university peers—and seeing them I felt the strength of those connections.
Seeing that they didn''t let go of those bonds and would continue to travel together like this,I felt anew that relationships between people were beautiful.
When I saw guests who came with their middle school classmates, I thought of my own middle school classmates, and when I saw people who came with university peers, my university friends came to mind.
Each time, I felt proud of myself for being able to think of someone.
It was also an opportunity to reflect on how grateful I am for my friendships and connections with people.
At first I was scared and everything felt awkward, but on the last day I even walked around Nampo-dong like it was in front of my house, dressed in sweatpants.
It would be a lie to say there were no regrets during the month of activities, but the changes that came to me are greater and more valuable than those regrets.
A month ago, the goal of my gap year activities was ''not to resent the me who decided to become a gapper,'' but instead of resentment, I now feel grateful and proud of my past self for making that big decision.
I have gained the courage to face future challenges and trials.
My gap year is,
Experience ★★★★☆
If I had stayed home during vacation, would I have been able to meet these people and have these experiences?
Learning ★★★★☆
I learned a lot. However, there wasn''t as much interaction as I had expected, so minus one point.
Environment ★★★★☆
It''s not very good, but it seems like it gets better once you adjust.
Safety ★★★★☆
I''m safe as long as I stay alert!
Leisure ★★★★★
A few times a week I had time to do nothing!
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