Gained a clear personal viewpoint while pursuing ordinariness, Gyeongju, the place that holds a thousand years of history: Gap Year Stay Review

#Gained a clear personal viewpoint while pursuing ordinariness #A deep contemplation on the reasons for travel and life #The value of ordinariness gained after much deliberation

Author: Kim Seonmyeong
Country / City: Asia/Philippines/Cebu City
Views : 2705

Personally, I used to dislike being ordinary and uncool. So I always tried to think and act differently, wanting to find something beyond ordinariness. But the results were always miserable; little changed and I only increased my self-blame. Now, beyond those thoughts, what I want is to be extremely ordinary and uncool.

- That place that holds a thousand years of history, Gyeongju! Gap Year Stay / Kim Seonmyeong gap-year tribe gapper / 8-week gap year

I''m a college student now, so I have to do something.I wanted to think and act according to what my heart truly wanted rather than out of obligation.

Because I didn''t know myself well, I didn''t know what I truly wanted to do, and since I kept trying to follow the paths others had made, my actions lacked sincerity. So I wanted to go on a journey to find myself and joined the gap year program.

I tried to reflect on myself more and get to know myself.

With this mindset during the gap year program, I thought more about my existence, and although not perfect, I came to understand myself better — what attitude I should take, not by imitating someone else...my own colorI found it.

The reason for traveling

During the two months I spent through the Gap Year Stay, my goal for the first month was to live without thinking, so I didn''t feel guilty about not accomplishing anything in that month, but I couldn''t shake the thought that I hadn''t achieved anything and lived with it. Still, I thought a lot about one of the things I wanted to feel in Gyeongju: ''the reason for traveling.''

The reason for traveling is being able to have no worries and simply consider primal concerns like what to eat, what to see, and where to sleep. Because of that, people you meet while traveling can become close without calculation or guardedness, so everyone you meet can easily become friends.

However, I don''t want an ordinariness without any worry or thought; I want an ordinariness that comes after much worry and reflection. Because I tried hard to be different and stand out, even while blending in with others I felt alienated and uncomfortable, but trying to be similar to others, to be ordinary, rather made me consider what is truly necessary and important to me...my own clear convictionsI was able to act with them.

Also, the main reason I participated in the gap year program and went down to Gyeongju was not to live a fake life but to...a real lifeIt was the idea of creating the foundation to live a real life. I think the point is to understand well the difference between what I truly want to do and what I have to do, and to act accordingly. Since I don''t have any special talent, if I only do what I want I''ll become someone who is neither this nor that, and if I only do what I must, I won''t be able to live an autonomous life. So I thought it''s very important to center my daily life on what I must do while making time here and there to do the things I like.

Finally, an important thing I felt, which may sound grandiose, is...the purpose of lifeIt''s a reflection on that. The purpose of my life is happiness. Compared to other people''s reasons it may be endless to compare, but the reason I came to value happiness is my parents. I think happiness seems trivial, yet seeing my parents shows how truly difficult it is. You could say it''s living with someone who gives you strength in daily life and sometimes, through kind actions and words, is like a vitamin for life—and I think that someone should be family.

During the two months I spent there, I had time to ask myself many fundamental questions I usually couldn''t, and although I didn''t get answers to all of them, I feel my mind has become considerably lighter.