I liked being alone when I was alone, and liked being together when I was with others. I was glad to be able to see the sea I loved so much to my heart''s content, and felt proud of myself as I adapted to a new life. I, who thought I wasn''t good at work, received praise, and every time someone told me I did well my confidence grew exponentially. It''s clear that I felt things I wouldn''t have if I''d only been visiting. - Jeju! I want to live there, Gap Year Stay / Kim Sujin, gap-year family gapper / 8-week gap year |
"Putting aside the studies I''ve done since elementary school for a while"
During the gap year I took across the sea — for four and a half years, or rather by putting aside the studies I''d been doing since elementary school — I set aside all the social roles I held, such as student, child, and friend. During that time I had my own plans and goals.
Climb Hallasan, spend a night in a forest retreat, come back having deeply realized how precious the person beside me was, etc.
There were things I achieved and things I didn''t, but I have no regrets about what I couldn''t accomplish. Having had this gap year once gave me the confidence that if I ever need a gap year again I can take one.
Before taking the gap year I was a very unstable person. I was sensitive and meticulous, and people would say I looked pitiful to watch.
For someone like me to leave my home, friends, and loved ones and go somewhere else for two months was a great something different from courage, adventurousness, or independence; it was exciting but also frightening and uneasy.
"New environment, new people"
In conclusion I feel like I had a good trip, but there I also faced my naked inner self. When I confronted shortcomings I''d forgotten, it felt distant and overwhelming, and thinking that I had to get through it alone without anyone''s help was also daunting.
But at such times, unexpectedly the new environment and the new people I met there became new ''my people,'' my relationships, and in that way I adapted to a place like home and family.
I liked being alone when I was alone, and liked being together when I was with others. I was glad to be able to see the sea I loved so much to my heart''s content, and felt proud of myself as I adapted to a new life. I, who thought I wasn''t good at work, received praise, and every time someone told me I did well my confidence grew exponentially.It''s clear that I felt things I wouldn''t have if I''d only come as a tourist.
"Sometimes I felt the work given to me was exhausting"
But I think I developed a positive mindset I wouldn''t have had elsewhere. With thoughts like ''because it''s a new place'' and ''because I came here by my own choice,'' and repeatedly engraving in my heart the resolve I had before leaving for Jeju, I tried to inscribe small daily joys in my heart, and because of that I was able to return in a happier state.
Meeting new guests was more joy than stress. When I saw guests leave a message on the board thanking us and then leave, I felt so proud and happy.Of course there were times I felt the work was grueling and often felt physically drained, but that made it better. Since it wasn''t an easy decision, and not an easy thing to go through, I feel proud now after having gone through it.
The evening before returning home. I felt conflicted—half wanting to leave, half wanting to stay longer. I still don''t know whether that means it was that meaningful or that I felt regret, but I laughed a lot, and there were many joyful times and many hard times.
"My life after returning home"
My life after returning home is not much different than before, and my mindset hasn''t changed 180 degrees.
What remained were the pride of having climbed Hallasan and the enjoyable memories with the people I met there.
But I spent an unforgettable two months, and I don''t know yet, but as more time passes I look forward to seeing how those two months in Jeju will return to me as some valuable experience.
I remember saying I wanted to work in travel-related jobs. After living there another goal that emerged is to run a guesthouse in Jeju. Who knows when my dream will change, but that''s it for now.
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