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#Escaped a dark period; positive change #The dream of becoming a teacher; a reason to study #A turning point in life
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I didn''t want to fall back into darkness. At first, the goal of my gap year was purely for myself: ''I wish I would become bright again.'' It was a selfish goal.
-2013 Gift of Music music volunteer gap year |
Q.Please introduce yourself ^^
During the winter vacation of my first year of high school I was unwell and withdrew from school. After that I lived like a shut-in, then I learned about the gap year program, and during the gap year I met good people and, through meaningful activities, again My name is Han Sang-min. I regained dreams and studied, and now I''m going to a school where I can achieve those dreams.
Q.You must have been so unwell that you had to drop out.
My nervous system and heart weren''t healthy. Sometimes when I suddenly stood up my vision would go black; I thought that was a common occurrence for others too. But in high school I fainted several times, went to the hospital, and learned that my nervous system and heart were not well.
In middle school I did well academically without stress, but after entering an autonomous private high school, a lot ofstresswas the cause. I hadn''t originally planned to attend that kind of school, but I went to the one recommended by a teacher, where there was intense competition and the environment wasn''t good. One day, after I collapsed, a teacher even said, ''Aren''t you faking it because you''re not studying hard?''
Q.Was the decision to withdraw one you made yourself?
My health suddenly worsened during summer vacation, so I struggled a lot during the following semester. I talked it over with my parents and considered transferring, but it didn''t seem like I would get better, so I decided to withdraw.
Q.How did you spend your time after withdrawing?
My health improved bit by bit with care, but the loneliness was overwhelming and it was difficult. The hardest memory is when my friends went on a school trip and photos were posted on Facebook and I wasn''t in them. I didn''t meet many people, just played games, and lived like a shut-in,and I wasted about four months..
Then I thought I couldn''t go on like that and began looking for something to do. My girlfriend said, ''There''s this kind of volunteer work — want to try it?'' and told me about Korea Gap Year''s volunteer activities. Up until then I had neverexperiencedit,so I decided to go because I wanted to try going abroad.
Q.After deciding to take a gap year, didn''t you have any worries?
At that time my health had improved, and since I''d never been abroad I was actually excited.
Also, up through middle school I had done a lot of volunteer work. At first I started because of the required volunteer hours, but because I kept going to the same place the elders welcomed me and I grew attached to them, so at some point I stopped even getting volunteer certificates and would bring friends along. So I wasn''t worried about the volunteer work.
Q.Before taking a gap year, whattext":"goal"were you studying with?
From middle school until the first year of high school, becoming a lawyer was a vague dream. Earning a lot of money, having high social status, and since people around me said I was good,I had such a vague goal..
But after getting sick, those vaguely-held ideas felt meaningless. I realized that if I got sick it would all be useless, and from then on, more than money, fame, or others'' evaluations,the things I want to doI think I began to think about little by little and steadily.
Q.What goal did you want to achieve through the gap year?
I didn''t want to become depressed again.
At first, the gap year''s goal was purely for myself. ''I hope I can feel cheerful again.'' It was a selfish goal like that.
Q.What efforts did you make during the gap year to achieve that goal?
I tried to have many conversations with new people. By talking about various things with the university students who went with me, I naturally began to want to study again.
Q.Did the feelings you had at the start of the gap year change?
My feelings changed on the very first day.
The volunteer place was the national orphanage in Cambodia, and I was very worried on the way—wondering what if the children were gloomy. But the children we met when we arrived were living energetically and happily.
When we first arrived at the orphanage and I saw the children playing soccer, I realized I had been mistaken—I was not there for myself but to volunteer. To these children,a cheerful presenceit changed into the thought of showing and getting along well together.
Q.What was the most difficult thing during the gap year?
I was sick for one day. It was the day we were to present a simple circus performance prepared with the children, and the hardest part was that I couldn''t help because I wasn''t feeling well that day.Aside from that, I was happy throughout the gap year in Cambodia. The people who went with me were so nice. Since I was the youngest, everyone took good care of me, and because of that I could forget the hardships.
Q.You said that after dropping out you couldn''t get along with people for a while—how did you overcome that?
At first I didn''t even attend the orientation where the people going to Cambodia gathered. On the day of the second OT, I went thinking I''d just go hang out, but at that time I couldn''t speak to anyone. I was thinking, ''What if these people think I''m weird?'' Because of that. But the older guys started talking to me first, so my resistance and awkwardness gradually eased.
On the day of departure, everything at the airport felt unfamiliar too, but the older guys kindly showed me the ropes, so the awkwardness quickly disappeared and I was able to get along well like I used to.
Also, I had always liked children, but I had forgotten that; after seeing and interacting with the children, I...I found myself becoming cheerful with the children and playing without any worries..
Q.What was the best thing or what did you learn from taking a gap year?
Everything was good while I spent the gap year, but what I realized most was'' that I can be someone who can help these children'' It was the moment I realized that.That was the turning point that changed me..
When I was at home I used to think of myself as someone who only wasted food (laughs). But during the gap year, playing with the children and seeing them follow me, I felt, ''I can be someone who can help someone.'' The moment I felt that emotion was the best.
Q.If I hadn''t taken a gap year?
I think I would have stayed as I was, reluctantly started studying, and gone to a university according to my scores.
I don''t think I would have studied as hard as I did after taking the gap year. I probably wouldn''t have lived diligently either. Since I didn''t have a dream like I do now, I think I wouldn''t have been able to overcome hardships.
Q.Did you gain any dreams through your gap year?
I was able to be reminded that I like children.
It wasn''t a change that I had immediately through the gap year.A month after I came back, I gradually reflected on the time...timeand slowly thought about it, and '' Ah, I used to like children, and I used to like teaching,So how about teaching children through the job of a teacher?'' I think that''s how I solidified that dream.
Q.What changes were there after taking the gap year?
I started studying little by little.I was greatly positively influenced by talking with the older guys.
One of them was the same age as my real older brother, but unlike my brother he felt very mature. I learned a lot when we talked; he expressed his thoughts coherently. Because of that influence, I started studying.Since I wasn''t taking exams and no one was forcing me, I could focus on studying more comfortably than when I was in school.
Q.Did your studying go as well as before?
No.I felt very frustrated. I couldn''t solve the problems. After hearing friends talk about taking mock exams, I tried them too and once got a shocking score. So...I felt I couldn''t keep going like that, so I went to a prep academy to retake the year.
Even studying while attending the academy was frustrating at first. But I accepted that it was natural since I hadn''t studied before, which put my mind at ease; as a result, my studying actually improved, and at some point I achieved a score I was satisfied with.
Q.You studied hard and were accepted to the teachers'' college you were aiming for. When you confirmed your acceptance,how did you feel?
I didn''t feel as great a sense of achievement as I thought I would. I see teaching as the work I want to do, and school is theprocessI perceive it as such, so I think that''s why.
Q.What are your plans for the future?
I''m not simply dreaming of becoming a teacher; I have a big dream about what I want to do after becoming one.
It may sound a bit unrealistic, butI want to change the world.I want it to be not a society where people have to study without purpose like now, but a morefundamental dreama world where people have
To make that happen, I''ll look for and work on what I can do as a teacher.Q.
What does a gap year mean to you?
A turning point.
It was an activity that gave me the strength to brighten up again from a dark period in my life. Although my motives were selfish at first, if I hadn''t participated in the gap year, it''s obvious where I''d be now. I''m truly grateful to Korea Gap Year for transforming me from someone who would have stayed stuck like that.
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I didn''t want to fall back into darkness. At first, the goal of my gap year was purely for myself: ''I wish I would become bright again.'' It was a selfish goal.
-2013 Gift of Music music volunteer gap year |
Q.Please introduce yourself ^^
During the winter vacation of my first year of high school I was unwell and withdrew from school. After that I lived like a shut-in, then I learned about the gap year program, and during the gap year I met good people and, through meaningful activities, again My name is Han Sang-min. I regained dreams and studied, and now I''m going to a school where I can achieve those dreams.
Q.You must have been so unwell that you had to drop out.
My nervous system and heart weren''t healthy. Sometimes when I suddenly stood up my vision would go black; I thought that was a common occurrence for others too. But in high school I fainted several times, went to the hospital, and learned that my nervous system and heart were not well.
In middle school I did well academically without stress, but after entering an autonomous private high school, a lot ofstresswas the cause. I hadn''t originally planned to attend that kind of school, but I went to the one recommended by a teacher, where there was intense competition and the environment wasn''t good. One day, after I collapsed, a teacher even said, ''Aren''t you faking it because you''re not studying hard?''
Q.Was the decision to withdraw one you made yourself?
My health suddenly worsened during summer vacation, so I struggled a lot during the following semester. I talked it over with my parents and considered transferring, but it didn''t seem like I would get better, so I decided to withdraw.
Q.How did you spend your time after withdrawing?
My health improved bit by bit with care, but the loneliness was overwhelming and it was difficult. The hardest memory is when my friends went on a school trip and photos were posted on Facebook and I wasn''t in them. I didn''t meet many people, just played games, and lived like a shut-in,and I wasted about four months..
Then I thought I couldn''t go on like that and began looking for something to do. My girlfriend said, ''There''s this kind of volunteer work — want to try it?'' and told me about Korea Gap Year''s volunteer activities. Up until then I had neverexperiencedit,so I decided to go because I wanted to try going abroad.
Q.After deciding to take a gap year, didn''t you have any worries?
At that time my health had improved, and since I''d never been abroad I was actually excited.
Also, up through middle school I had done a lot of volunteer work. At first I started because of the required volunteer hours, but because I kept going to the same place the elders welcomed me and I grew attached to them, so at some point I stopped even getting volunteer certificates and would bring friends along. So I wasn''t worried about the volunteer work.
Q.Before taking a gap year, whattext":"goal"were you studying with?
From middle school until the first year of high school, becoming a lawyer was a vague dream. Earning a lot of money, having high social status, and since people around me said I was good,I had such a vague goal..
But after getting sick, those vaguely-held ideas felt meaningless. I realized that if I got sick it would all be useless, and from then on, more than money, fame, or others'' evaluations,the things I want to doI think I began to think about little by little and steadily.
Q.What goal did you want to achieve through the gap year?
I didn''t want to become depressed again.
At first, the gap year''s goal was purely for myself. ''I hope I can feel cheerful again.'' It was a selfish goal like that.
Q.What efforts did you make during the gap year to achieve that goal?
I tried to have many conversations with new people. By talking about various things with the university students who went with me, I naturally began to want to study again.
Q.Did the feelings you had at the start of the gap year change?
My feelings changed on the very first day.
The volunteer place was the national orphanage in Cambodia, and I was very worried on the way—wondering what if the children were gloomy. But the children we met when we arrived were living energetically and happily.
When we first arrived at the orphanage and I saw the children playing soccer, I realized I had been mistaken—I was not there for myself but to volunteer. To these children,a cheerful presenceit changed into the thought of showing and getting along well together.
Q.What was the most difficult thing during the gap year?
I was sick for one day. It was the day we were to present a simple circus performance prepared with the children, and the hardest part was that I couldn''t help because I wasn''t feeling well that day.Aside from that, I was happy throughout the gap year in Cambodia. The people who went with me were so nice. Since I was the youngest, everyone took good care of me, and because of that I could forget the hardships.
Q.You said that after dropping out you couldn''t get along with people for a while—how did you overcome that?
At first I didn''t even attend the orientation where the people going to Cambodia gathered. On the day of the second OT, I went thinking I''d just go hang out, but at that time I couldn''t speak to anyone. I was thinking, ''What if these people think I''m weird?'' Because of that. But the older guys started talking to me first, so my resistance and awkwardness gradually eased.
On the day of departure, everything at the airport felt unfamiliar too, but the older guys kindly showed me the ropes, so the awkwardness quickly disappeared and I was able to get along well like I used to.
Also, I had always liked children, but I had forgotten that; after seeing and interacting with the children, I...I found myself becoming cheerful with the children and playing without any worries..
Q.What was the best thing or what did you learn from taking a gap year?
Everything was good while I spent the gap year, but what I realized most was'' that I can be someone who can help these children'' It was the moment I realized that.That was the turning point that changed me..
When I was at home I used to think of myself as someone who only wasted food (laughs). But during the gap year, playing with the children and seeing them follow me, I felt, ''I can be someone who can help someone.'' The moment I felt that emotion was the best.
Q.If I hadn''t taken a gap year?
I think I would have stayed as I was, reluctantly started studying, and gone to a university according to my scores.
I don''t think I would have studied as hard as I did after taking the gap year. I probably wouldn''t have lived diligently either. Since I didn''t have a dream like I do now, I think I wouldn''t have been able to overcome hardships.
Q.Did you gain any dreams through your gap year?
I was able to be reminded that I like children.
It wasn''t a change that I had immediately through the gap year.A month after I came back, I gradually reflected on the time...timeand slowly thought about it, and '' Ah, I used to like children, and I used to like teaching,So how about teaching children through the job of a teacher?'' I think that''s how I solidified that dream.
Q.What changes were there after taking the gap year?
I started studying little by little.I was greatly positively influenced by talking with the older guys.
One of them was the same age as my real older brother, but unlike my brother he felt very mature. I learned a lot when we talked; he expressed his thoughts coherently. Because of that influence, I started studying.Since I wasn''t taking exams and no one was forcing me, I could focus on studying more comfortably than when I was in school.
Q.Did your studying go as well as before?
No.I felt very frustrated. I couldn''t solve the problems. After hearing friends talk about taking mock exams, I tried them too and once got a shocking score. So...I felt I couldn''t keep going like that, so I went to a prep academy to retake the year.
Even studying while attending the academy was frustrating at first. But I accepted that it was natural since I hadn''t studied before, which put my mind at ease; as a result, my studying actually improved, and at some point I achieved a score I was satisfied with.
Q.You studied hard and were accepted to the teachers'' college you were aiming for. When you confirmed your acceptance,how did you feel?
I didn''t feel as great a sense of achievement as I thought I would. I see teaching as the work I want to do, and school is theprocessI perceive it as such, so I think that''s why.
Q.What are your plans for the future?
I''m not simply dreaming of becoming a teacher; I have a big dream about what I want to do after becoming one.
It may sound a bit unrealistic, butI want to change the world.I want it to be not a society where people have to study without purpose like now, but a morefundamental dreama world where people have
To make that happen, I''ll look for and work on what I can do as a teacher.Q.
What does a gap year mean to you?
A turning point.
It was an activity that gave me the strength to brighten up again from a dark period in my life. Although my motives were selfish at first, if I hadn''t participated in the gap year, it''s obvious where I''d be now. I''m truly grateful to Korea Gap Year for transforming me from someone who would have stayed stuck like that.
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