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#Restored self-esteem; regained confidence #Learning to love myself as I am #Healing through relationships with others
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I have things I want to do again, and my confidence and self-esteem have recovered a lot.That is what''s changed.
-Gyeongju I want to live there / Lee Haeni gap year tribe gapper / 12-month gap year |
The main reason I originally planned to join the gap year program was to go on a diet.
I had gained a lot of weight rapidly,and I had lost a lot of self-esteem from constantly failing at dieting. So I wanted to leave the familiar place for a while and live elsewhereMy goal was to lose weight and become someone who values and takes care of themselves.
However, Idid not achieve that goal at all. Strangely, I became able to love myself even without losing weight, and my self-esteemhas returned from that lost state; I was able to regain confidence and accept myself as I am. During the past year,I feel very, very rewarded because I seem to have made considerable progress from the struggling, low self-esteem and lack of confidence I had.
I thought my self-esteem and confidence couldn''t be restored as I was. But through the gap year I gained peace of mind, andbeing able to love myself as I am is a really big and most meaningful change.
I chose to go to Gyeongju because it is tranquil and quiet, and I wanted to go to a place where no one knew me and spend time solely for myself. But wanting solitude in a guesthouse where you can meet many people was somewhat of a mistaken idea.
By talking with many people and sharing various stories, I realized that although I do need time alone, there was no need to deliberately avoid and reject relationships in order to be alone. One of the reasons I wanted time to myself was to restore the confidence I''d lost through my own time, but I thought that had I kept to myself, I might not have recovered. After all, I have to live as part of society, and trying to solve things alone every time feels like a closed-minded approach; rather, resolving and recovering among people has seemed to improve my adaptability.
Participating in this program was such good fortune and satisfying. First, I think it was lucky to meet really good people, get close to them, and live like family. I thought relationships were the hardest thing in the world, and the fact that I made a family away from my region still overwhelms me. And it''s very satisfying that my confidence and self-esteem were restored through people who cared for me.
Since the underlying reason for joining the program was fundamentally to restore my confidence and self-esteem, it''s okay that I didn''t succeed in dieting. I couldn''t resist the pleasure of eating with loved ones. And Gyeongju''s cultural heritage sites are a bit amazing. They seem to appear suddenly just while walking. There are large burial mounds along the roads, and as you walk you pass stone pagodas. So I was very envious of Gyeongju residents. I loved being able to feel, even in the short three months, what it''s like for residents to see a stone pagoda on the way home, take walks in Daereungwon with friends, and pass Cheomseongdae while riding a bike into town.
Also, because there are many flat areas and historical sites everywhere, it is very suitable for traveling on foot or by bicycle. So it seems best to visit Gyeongju in the pleasant weather of spring or autumn. When I first arrived in Gyeongju the weather was perfect for traveling, but it''s a bit regrettable that I couldn''t do much sightseeing then. So I definitely want to go again in the spring.
Me before and after participating in the gap year program
I have things I want to do again, and my confidence and self-esteem have recovered a lot.That is what''s changed.
People I met through the gap year program
Due to the nature of the guesthouse, I met a variety of people.Through many conversations I felt that there really are many different kinds of people living in the world. But among many people, the ones who remained most important to me werethe owner, the owner''s wife, and the staff who stayed together at the guesthouse. They cared even about the smallest things,and because they paid attention and looked after us, I wanted to treat them better too, and we relied on and took care of each other a lot.Although it was about three months, it feels like a family was born in Gyeongju.
Gyeongju travel spots I discovered during my gap year
Yangdong Village is about a 30–40 minute bus ride from Gyeongju Station, and there aren''t many buses that go there, soyou should check the bus timetable in advance before departing. Yangdong Village is a traditional hanok village, and personally I liked it more than Andong''s Hahoe Village.For one thing, actual residents live there, and it''s not only modernized tiled-roof houses but also many traditional-stylethatched-roof houses. So as soon as you enter the village, you feel like you''ve stepped into the past, as if by a time machine.It''s a place you''ll inevitably like if you want a quiet, tranquil atmosphere.
Tips for future participants in the gap year program
''I want to live there in Gyeongju'' — If you join the gap year program, first of all, the owner and his wife are so kind that you don''t need to worry about that.However, that doesn''t mean you should neglect your own experience as guesthouse staff. Complete your assigned duties thoroughly, then enjoy yourself!
