Honestly, I think I often wondered, ''Is there a reason for me to live?'' It felt like there was no reason to live and my existence had no meaning; I was always filled with negative thoughts. I applied to this program out of a desperate feeling with nowhere left to retreat. While staying in Jeju, perhaps because I was always surrounded by nature, I felt much more at ease compared to before—no anxiety or hardship; I really think I rested comfortably. - Jeju Hyeopjae, I want to live there :: A place with an emerald sea / 7-week gap year |
- What did you gain or what were the good things from participating in the gap year program?
The biggest reason I joined this program was to live directly in Jeju, travel, meet various people, and for my own personal growth. Whether waking up in the morning, cleaning, or resting, looking at the jade Hyeopjae sea and Biyangdo gave me a lot of psychological stability. I had no stress or anxiety. Meeting diverse people, I once thought I was inferior to others, but I realized I''m just one person among many, and since I was in the position of staff helping them, the satisfaction I got from that was great.Sometimes interacting with people brought discomfort, but I think there were more good things than bad.
Lastly, it was about my own growth — I think I achieved some results in terms of wanting to grow with more inner stability. Honestly, when I said I would climb Hallasan, the staff I worked with and the owner didn''t believe me, but in the end I surpassed my limits. It was really hard... What I felt while climbing Hallasan is that the process is more important than the result. Because I focused on each moment of the climb, I think I was able to see Baengnokdam. Finally, all these good points and realizations were possible because of the guests.
- People I met through the gap year program
Actually, I was someone who was very shy. But since I had to be the one to approach the guests here, I tried to appear as friendly as possible. I didn''t become close with all the guests, but there are guests I still keep in touch with and have promised to meet again. I''m happy~ There are more people I know or will get to know. Also, I grew quite attached to the staff sisters and brothers I lived with, and we decided to meet up later.
- One piece of advice you want to give to people who will participate in the gap year program?
When I first arrived at the guesthouse, I had fantasies until the staff sister who was there first said to me directly, ''I don''t know what you imagined...'' Of course having those fantasies isn''t bad or wrong. I just want to say it will definitely be different from what you imagine. Be prepared that it will be physically demanding to some extent. Of course, each guesthouse operates differently, but this is definitely not simply a setup where lodging and meals are provided and you can travel around at ease. Even so, time really flies, and looking back now I miss Jeju and the staff life — it seems clear that there were more joyful moments.
- If you compare before and after participating in the gap year program?
Before joining the gap year, that is, up until I decided to take a leave and applied, I honestly think I often thought, ''Is there a reason for me to live?'' It felt like there was no reason to live and my existence had no meaning; I was always filled with negative thoughts. I applied to this program out of a desperate feeling with nowhere left to retreat. While staying in Jeju, perhaps because I was always surrounded by nature, I felt much more at ease compared to before—no anxiety or hardship; I really think I lived comfortably. Sometimes when I went into town I distinctly felt, ''Ah, I''ve slowed down a beat,'' but while I was there I lived simply without worries or concerns.
And while cleaning and attending to guests I thought, ''Ah, I can help others; I''m someone who is useful.'' Talking with guests I thought a lot about how to set my direction. I also came to think, ''I should live a bit more positively.'' In the future I might be able to approach strangers more proactively without hesitation. Lastly, I gained some weight.
- Tell us about your personal travel route during the gap year period
I was interested in the Olle Trail, so I planned to walk many parts of it. I didn''t do that many, but I walked about 3–4 courses. I also went to Hallasan and visited Biyangdo as seen from Hyeopjae Beach.
- My gap year story spent in Jeju
Hello~ I''m Kang Daye, and I spent two months at a Jeju guesthouse through Korea Gapyear''s ''I Want to Live There'' program. Actually, when I first saw this program and submitted the application, I think I only had thoughts like ''I want to try it once,'' ''It might be fun,'' ''I can travel and live in Jeju, and that''s nice.'' But I remember feeling very worried and anxious 2–3 days before leaving. I deliberately didn''t look up this guesthouse beforehand. I just trusted Korea Gapyear because I didn''t want to form preconceived notions or prejudices before experiencing it, but the moment I boarded the ferry to Jeju I thought ''Should I just go back?'' dozens of times.
Fortunately, the owner of the guesthouse I went to helped me a lot in adapting, contrary to my worries, and the staff sister I lived with also helped me a lot to adjust to the new environment. I was really fortunate. I was in Jeju in March and April. The two months I spent in Jeju gave me many memories, experiences, and people. While working as staff in Jeju I met a wide variety of people. I met people I wouldn''t have met if I hadn''t been there. You could call it fate! The owner and the staff sisters and brothers I lived with, and the guests I met every day — from people in their twenties younger than me to elderly couples over seventy — all came with various jobs and their own stories.
Although we met as staff and guests, by listening to their various stories and sharing my own, it was an experience of exchanging each other''s stories. Through conversations I came to learn problems I hadn''t been aware of, and I also admitted to myself that I felt somewhat proud of having different experiences at a young age. If I had been in school, I would have been labeled ''21 is just a rookie'' and felt pressured that I''m late and need to do something quickly, but being in Jeju I realized that even at 30 it''s not too late to start something again, and that now I can have more diverse experiences and it''s not too late to do things. Also, unlike being in school where the people you meet are limited, I could meet many more people.
ⓒKoreaGapyear
Secondly, the Hyeopjae sea I could see every morning and the sunsets, and at night the many stars and Biyangdo — I lived intoxicated by the beautiful nature and scenery. Even when cleaning and feeling tired I would find energy by looking at the jade Hyeopjae sea; I would marvel at the orange-tinged sunset through the glass with guests, and at night go up to the rooftop to admire the stars. I experienced peace and a sense of leisure. I didn''t have much money and my current state was shabby, but I didn''t feel lacking; I was grateful to have ended another day well with the guests without worries or concerns, and I spent days laughing at small, everyday things and feeling happier than before. Sometimes when I went into town it struck me so strongly, ''Ah, I''ve slowed down a beat,'' which made me worried about returning, but during the time I lived in Jeju I lived without worries, concerns, or stress and had carefree, comfortable days that were some of the happiest in my life.
Thirdly, I traveled to various places. On my first day off I thought I should see many spots, so I walked Olle Course 10. I thought it would take 5–6 hours but because I got off the route it took 7–8 hours, and since it was windy until early spring I remember that day being really, really tough. Also, the forced-march trip where I rode in the car of a guest I had become close to and visited 4–5 places are unforgettable memories.
To climb Hallasan, which had been on my bucket list even before coming to Jeju, I had kept postponing it, but three days before leaving Jeju I did a full 9-hour hike and saw Baengnokdam. I defied everyone''s expectations by reaching Baengnokdam, and the endorphin rush I felt then is unforgettable. Although I vowed, ''This is the last time I''ll climb Hallasan,''...
Finally, through this experience I took time to reflect on myself and think about the future. I cleaned bathrooms — something I had never done at home — made other people''s beds, and took out food waste.
Everything else was so good, but I remember jokingly complaining with the staff sister that cleaning was hard. I felt deeply that nothing in this world is easy. On the surface, ''I Want to Live There'' may seem simply focused on traveling and living in Jeju, but I think the reality is you have to pay the corresponding price to enjoy those benefits. Even tasks I didn''t think would be very hard turned out not to be easy when I actually did them — I realized that properly for the first time in 21 years.
As I mentioned above, this experience gave me the guts to feel that at my age there''s nothing I can''t do. So, just a week after returning I wanted to try working with flowers; I impulsively called a florist asking if they were hiring and did a week-long job trial at the shop. If I had been attending school, I don''t think I would have even thought about it, let alone had the courage to try. Listening to the owner and the guests, I also gained life know-how: that at my age you should try various experiences and things you want to do — if it works out, great; if not, it can''t be helped. Before this program I planned to take only one semester off, but now I have more things I want to do, so I''m considering extending my leave.
While in Jeju, because I was on leave I felt anxious that I had to plan my future quickly, so I spent a lot of time thinking about which fields I was interested in, what kind of work I should do, whether I should take college entrance exams for it, change my major, or transfer schools. I was so caught up in deciding what to do that the staff sister living with me even told me, ''Don''t force yourself to do something like that.'' Then one day I talked with a male guest who was my age; he said he was interested in design, and I said I was interested in that field too. He replied something like, ''You only have a slight interest without any real passion or effort,'' and when he asked, ''Have you made any effort because you''re interested in that field?'' I remember being completely taken aback.It was really just a simple interest, and I had never thought about whether I''d made any effort toward it.
After that day I realized the parts I''d been missing. I had always said I was interested, but I realized I had never earnestly tried anything for it. There was a brief period of confusion, but it was clearly an issue I needed to address. It was one of those experiences where, through the guests, my horizons and thinking expanded indirectly.
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