57th Gap-Year Tribe GapperSeo Hyunji

Gap year periods: December 2009 ~ January 2010 (2 months); December 2015 ~ March 2016 (4 months)

Gap year: traveled to 23 cities in India

Currently, in South Korea,

Each year 60,000 middle and high school students drop out, 346,000 people in their twenties are idle with no dreams, and the one-year turnover rate after employment has entered the 40% range,75% of college students are not satisfied with university life, and over 80% of workers do not feel happy.To solve this issue of many people being told to dream without practical methods or support,we aim to introduce the 'gap year' to South Korea.

'Gap year'is a time to set the direction for the future by either combining or temporarily pausing studies and work to engage in various activities such as volunteering, travel, internships, education, and entrepreneurship.It is a culture encouraged in the United States, Europe, Japan, and other countries.

*Check out various experiences on the Gap Year website!(Click)

# Twenty-three, my first gap year

I took two gap years in my life. One was in the winter when I was twenty-three, and the other was in the winter when I was twenty-nine. Seven years ago, I chose India as my first trip abroad for no particular reason. At that time, as a college student, the fact of going somewhere mattered more to me than the actual destination.  

"I want to escape the cycle of grades, tuition, and part-time jobs, and live for a little while in a place where no one knows me," "I just want to get away from this tedious routine." That's what I thought. So while taking a liberal arts class called "Understanding Indian Art," I suddenly saw the Taj Mahal's snow-white dome and decided, "Yes, let's go there." 

My first trip abroad. It was absolutely wonderful. I had been living breathlessly between school and part-time jobs on weekdays and weekends, Those were the first times in my life when I didn't have to worry about pocket money or watch my parents' reactions—when I could think only of myself—and those moments were truly precious to me. 

When all those things that tormented my daily life disappeared before my eyes, the whole world looked different. My diary filled not with "3 PM exam" or "7 PM part-time job interview" but with new entries like "browsed the bracelet shop in front of the guesthouse" and "peanut curry is delicious." After spending such charming days, I boarded the plane back to Korea with my heart full of memories.

On the day I left India after placing the first pause in my life, I thought, "If someday I'm exhausted by life and want to let everything go, I'll come back here. I don't know when I'll set foot in India again, but I hope I'll be as full of happiness then as I am now."

# Thirty, leaving again

I wanted to make a living writing. I had consistently practiced composition since my school days, and I majored in Korean language and literature at university. So I naturally thought I would have a job that involved writing. But life didn't go as I expected. I struggled for a long time to do the work I wanted but ultimately failed, and I became an office worker a little later than others. On my first day at work, I vowed to try even harder because I was late and become a great professional.

But my body couldn't match that passion. I would start work at 9 AM and finish only around midnight. Often I worked until dawn without receiving overtime pay, and eventually warning signs appeared in my health. Since I sat at a desk all day and chugged strong coffee, perhaps it was inevitable. There were moments I couldn't see ahead, and living with migraines and gastritis made me feel like my body was crumbling.

As my body grew tired, my mind began to become ill as well. The boldness I had as a student, when I felt I could do anything, was gone, and all that remained was a withdrawn, shrunken Seohyeonji. One day, as my stamina waned and my spirit wilted and I was barely getting through each day, on my way to work with my aching body, I suddenly thought, "What will I gain by going this far?" A career. A savings account. Improved work skills... But when I considered whether those things were truly necessary even if they damaged my health and mind, I answered "NO." 

It wasn't simply "I don't want to go to work," but once I became convinced that "there's no need to go this far," I began to look at my life more dispassionately.

I was the person who wanted to live a life of writing. But what about now? Since becoming an office worker, my writing has been limited to emails and reports to clients. After work I was so exhausted I couldn't even write a line in my journal and would fall asleep. Unlike before, when I felt I could confidently handle anything, now I find myself hoping "nothing happens tomorrow," and perhaps it's time to change that complacency.

So, after seven years, I decided to take another break. I had filled my late twenties as "office worker Seohyeonji," so I thought it might be okay to take a beat for myself. I wanted to reclaim the dream of being a writer that I had let go of when I joined the company, and recover the confidence that had hit rock bottom.

One day, just before turning thirty, I submitted my resignation without regret and set off on a trip. To the place that had been my first trip abroad—the land where I had buried all the passion and boldness of my youth. India. 

I decided to invest in taking the first break of my life.

At twenty-three, the reason I could suddenly travel abroad as a college student was that a large, unexpected sum of money came my way. At that time I entered every contest I could—essays, poems, slogans, and so on. Earning pocket money from a part-time job that paid less than 3,500 won an hour, the only way I could make a lot of money was by winning contests.

Then one day I was lucky enough to receive notice that I had won first place in a talent recruitment contest held by a company. I was really happy to receive the large prize of 1,000,000 won. And as they say, good things come all at once,A few months later, I also had my name listed among the winners of a contest held by the Hangul Culture Alliance..

I was overwhelmed by the sudden string of good luck, and after much deliberation,I decided to invest that money in taking the first break of my life.To be honest, I strongly felt, ‘If not now, when will I ever travel abroad?’ So I bought a plane ticket determined that it would be my first and last trip. In this way, my first travel expenses were covered by money that seemed to fall from the sky one day.

When I planned my second trip to India I was already employed, so raising the funds wasn't difficult. And because India is such a cheap country, I wasn't overly worried about living expenses while traveling there.

However, there were other costs. To offer a bit of help to those planning a trip to India: first, visa fees are not insignificant. And if you live in the provinces you'll also incur round-trip transportation costs to the Indian Embassy in Hannam-dong, Seoul. I spent about 90,000 won for a six-month multiple-entry visa and 80,000 won on round-trip transportation to obtain the visa.

India is not free from risks such as mosquito-borne endemic diseases or rabies, so getting preventive vaccinations or prescriptions beforehand can be very helpful. Typhoid, cholera, and malaria are examples. I once visited Indonesia and nearly got into serious trouble after contracting dengue fever, so for this India trip I was meticulous about travel insurance and prescriptions.

In addition, I bought a new backpack and sleeping bag, and for safety I purchased items like pepper spray and a whistle, so I ended up spending more than I expected before departure. Preparation costs were almost as much as the plane ticket, so it was quite an expense. The preparation process wasn't easy, but I tried to pack just about everything to prepare for any emergency.

Don't be stingy with the time you invest in your dreams.

When I left for my gap year, what worried me most was, of course, re-employment and my career.So when I said I was quitting my job to travel, people around me didn't immediately support me. I wasn't exactly at an age of being endlessly young, and it's so hard to find a new job these days that everyone was worried.

“你真的非得辞职吗？回来之后打算做什么？”

“你都快30岁了，清醒一点吧。”

当然，我并不是完全没考虑过这些。我没有钱多到可以不工作，也不是医生、律师那种随时都能重新找到工作的职业，所以我忍不住对未来感到焦虑。

然而，在一切变得太迟之前，我至少想有一次把“自己想做的事”当成工作。那就是从学生时代起便一直梦想着成为作家的道路。那个在我努力积累履历、赚钱时被搁置一旁的梦想——这一次，我决定让它实现。

即使一开始赚不了多少钱也没关系；如果因为手头拮据而不得不暂时窝在家里，也没关系。我告诉自己，别执着于重新就业，至少要在死之前当一次作家。“是啊，在漫长的一生中拿出一两年——就把这段时间投入写作吧！”下定这样的决心后，焦虑便渐渐消散了。就这样，我不断提醒自己“别吝惜投入梦想的时间！”，终于克服了对未来的焦虑。

#当我成为自己旅程的主人后，第二次印度之旅也渐渐有了模样。

我本来是为了“休息”才出发的，可一到那里，就开始想去看看这个、看看那个。“既然都来了，就该去看看那个。”“啊，不管怎样，那个也得买来试试。”我想，旅程前期自己跑了不少地方。虽然累得够呛，但看到别人都去了那些地方，就觉得自己也非去不可，于是即使不太情愿，也还是拖着疲惫的身子四处奔波。

后来，在汉比的一家客栈里，我偶然遇到了两位韩国女性。她们说自己一起从韩国出发，环球旅行已经是第60天了。我们刚一见面就很投缘，晚上一起在客栈屋顶喝酒，直到天亮。那时，她们聊起了这样一段对话。

“喂，明天我们做什么好呢？”

“明天？嗯，做什么好呢？要不要去看看附近的寺庙？”

“不了，我没什么兴致。”

“也是，我也没那么好奇。干脆什么都不做吧。”

“好啊！那就什么都不做。”

听到她们俩的对话，我再次想起自己为什么踏上这趟旅程。我明明是为了休息才出发的，现在到底在做什么？为什么要因为别人去观光，就勉强自己去做那些根本不想做的事？这不是我想要的旅行。我明明可以什么都不做。

意识到自己是在参加旅行团式的行程，而不是真正旅行后，我决定从那一刻起，按照自己的心意旅行，而不是“因为别人都这么做”。我停下了之前的美食打卡和历史景点观光，开始把日子过成“在湖边发呆”和“坐在客栈屋顶上直到日落”。

我想，自己真正的“间隔年”就是在30岁那一刻开始的。当我不再勉强自己做事，内心便平静下来，直到那时我才有余裕反思自己。为了别人的看法去做不想做的事，在公司上班时已经够多了。从今以后，我决定由自己来安排旅程。

就这样，当我成为自己旅程的主人后，第二次印度之旅也渐渐有了模样。想休息时就休息，想玩乐时就尽情漫游。就是这样。

# 不管那个人是否还记得我，只要他还在那里，我就由衷地感激。

（23岁）

（30岁）

这趟旅程中有许多快乐的时刻。其中，如今我仍记得的，是30岁时再次遇见那位在我23岁时初次相识的客栈老板。年轻时我被骗，哭着不知所措，是他帮我重新振作起来，鼓励我再次踏上旅程——他是一个对我来说无比珍贵的人。

决定再次去印度时，我立刻跑到书店，先翻开旅行指南里的瓦拉纳西篇。我担心：“要是那家客栈不在了……那我就再也见不到那个人了。”但和我担心的恰恰相反，那家客栈和七年前一样，一直好好地经营着。于是，在一个冬天、我即将步入30岁之际，我得以再次见到这位亲爱的朋友。

他还记得我吗？当然没有。那是个非常热门的地方，每天都有几十位客人来来往往。但不管他是否记得我，只要他还在那里，我就满怀感激。我曾非常害怕再也见不到他，害怕再也见不到对我来说珍贵的人——可再次见到他的那一刻，我的心便安定下来，就像喝了一口温水。

与当年英语水平仅限于说一句“再见！”相比，30岁时的我已经能和他多聊一会儿了，也因此在过往的回忆之上，又添了一段美好的记忆。分别那天，我对他说：“我一定会再回来的，所以别关门歇业，要长长久久地经营下去。”

最难忘的经历，是在本地治里被送进急诊室。去印度旅行大约一个半月后的一天早晨，我醒来时肚子疼得厉害。一开始我以为只是肠胃不适，便吃了从韩国带来的止泻药，可到了傍晚，疼痛变得难以忍受，还伴有高烧和恶心。我担心着“我不会就这样死掉吧”，迷迷糊糊睡了过去，醒来时已经身在医院急诊室。

我的情况越来越糟，同行的人把我送去急诊室，整晚守在我身边，还被蚊子叮了个遍。检查结果显示我食物中毒了，罪魁祸首是前一天吃的牛排。

我昏迷不醒时，同行的人用电子词典一个词一个词地查，代替我用英语和医护人员沟通。那个连用英语简单打声招呼都会害羞的年轻人，想必整晚都在和医护人员费力沟通——光是想到这里，我就忍不住流泪。

除了感激，我心里还充满了愧疚。这趟旅程对我来说如此珍贵，对那个人而言，每一天想必也同样珍贵；想到因为我而让他白白耗费了两天，我就心如刀绞。比起身体上的疼痛，想到自己成了他的负担，更让我难以释怀，我心里满是歉意。

从那天在急诊室的经历之后，旅途剩下的日子里，我格外注意自己的健康。我发誓，以后无论和谁一起旅行，或许我帮不上对方，但一定不能成为对方的负担。我想，我永远也不会忘记在本地治里的那个夜晚——身体饱受折磨，内心更是痛苦不堪。

# 我相信，旅行之后改变的并不是周围的“处境”，而是我们面对每一刻时的心态。

旅行回来后，很多人都会问我这个问题。

“回来之后有什么改变吗？世界是不是看起来完全不一样了？”

简单来说：是的！

说实话，我做任何事之前都容易担心。“万一试了之后发现不好呢？”“要是失败了，不是很丢脸吗？”我总是设想那些尚未发生的事，折磨自己。

但开始旅行后，我学会了更简单地看待世界，也鼓起勇气想：“不知道啊，管它呢，先试试看再说。”每当我想放弃时，就会给自己打气：“我在印度连更难的事都做过了，这点事还能难倒我吗？”遇到艰难时刻，我也能毫不犹豫地继续向前，告诉自己：“够了，这份艰难只是暂时的。”

当然，无论旅行与否，你的处境不会有太大改变。学生旅行回来后仍然是学生，工作的人结束旅程后也会回到每天上下班的平凡生活。然而，正如包括我在内的许多间隔年旅行者所经历的那样，只要尝试新的经历，你对待今天的态度一定会有所改变。归根结底，旅行之后改变的并不是我周围的“处境”，而是我们面对每一刻时的心态。我是这么认为的。

#我想，这就是真正的幸福吧。

间隔年结束、回归现实已经三个月了。为了践行自己给自己的承诺，试着过一过写作人生，我正在根据自己在印度的所见、所闻和所感撰写游记。7月就要启动众筹活动了，所以最近非常忙。

▶ 继续阅读徐贤智的间隔年故事（点击）