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Concentrati solo sulla tua crescita.
Il Gap Year è un periodo dedicato alla crescita e alla felicità.
Torna all’elencoTorna all’elenco
Nome:An Si-nae
Periodo dell’anno sabbatico:Marzo 2014 – Presente
Esperienze durante l’anno sabbatico:Ho viaggiato in 8 paesi(Malesia, Thailandia, India, Marocco, Egitto, Spagna, Francia, Italia)
Il motivo per cui ho preso un anno sabbatico
«Il momento più bello e felice della mia vita»
Al liceoil Transition Year irlandese (Transition Year)Mi capitò di guardare un documentario al riguardoe pensai: «Perché nel nostro paese non esiste un sistema simile?»Mi dissi. Poi pensai: «Possosemplicemente crearmi il mio anno sabbatico», decisi.e mi promisi che, durante uno dei periodi più belli della mia vita,avrei trascorso un anno facendo ciò che desideravo,godendomi appieno il prezioso tempo della mia giovinezza.Mi ripromisi di farlo.Feci questa promessa. A 21 anni, decisa a partire,chiesi un periodo di aspettativa e, dopo aver risparmiato 3,5 milioni di won,partii e tornai dopo aver viaggiato per 141 giorni.
Anche se riassunto brevemente in una sola frase,La preparazionenon fu semplice.Durante il periodo di aspettativa, per poco più di sei mesi, svolsi tre lavori contemporaneamentee risparmiai. Nei giorni feriali lavoravo di giorno in banca, la sera in un caffè e nei fine settimana come babysitter... Ero così stanca che mi addormentavo mentre pranzavo, ma pensare che presto sarei partita mi dava subitoenergia. Cosìnonostante avessi lavorato sodo, partii con 3,5 milioni di won perché, a causa delle difficoltà familiari di quel periodo, dovetti dare alla mia famiglia gran parte dei soldi guadagnati. Tuttavianon volevo rinunciare al mio sogno solo perché non avevo abbastanza soldi, così partii con una piccola somma. «Se finirò i soldi, in qualche modo arriveranno!»Partii con questo spirito.
La storia del mio anno sabbatico
«A dire il vero, dopo aver preso la decisionee prima di iniziare l’anno sabbatico,avevo paura di tutto.»
La paura di partire da solaedi usare un anno diaspettativa per viaggiare, come se fosse una cosa patetica.Sto davverofacendo la scelta giusta? Non sarebbe meglio studiare per il TOEIC in questo periodo?Forse? Ero preoccupata fino al momento della partenza. Per essere precisa,anche dopo essere partita, all’inizio non ero sicuradella mia decisione..
Tutti mi dicevano:«Tu? Tornerai in meno di un mese». Quando lo sentivo,mi impuntavo, ma quando arrivai davvero in aeroporto ero così spaventata che piansi a dirotto per circa tre ore. Il mio riflesso nel finestrino sembrava quello di una bambina con uno zaino enorme, non ancora adulta. Nei primi giorni del viaggio in India tremavo così tanto che tenevo sempre in mano un coltellino tascabile. Viaggiare con tutte quelle preoccupazioniI finally experienced the first incident. Actually there were many truly beautiful and moving moments during the trip, butit was the event that changed me for the first timethisincidentto talk aboutI want to.
"The feeling of standing alone in the world"
It was while staying in India's city that I love the most to this day'Blue City' where I was staying. The movie'Finding Kim Jong-wook', which featuresa famous scarf shop. I spent a long time looking aroundand while I was browsing an employee came up andtouched my shoulder in a way that made me uncomfortable. At that moment I didn't know how to react and I was scared, so I just said, 'What are you doing? Don't touch me,' and left the shop, but the more I thought about it the angrier I became. I felt that if I let it go, he would certainly do the same to other travelers.That night I prepared a bunch of insults in Hindi and English for the nextThe next morning, I went back to that shop.
But for someone like me who had never stood up for myself, confronting someone was really difficult. The words I'd prepared simply wouldn't come out of my throat. Tears almost came, but thinking that I would lose if I cried there, I told the owner with a determined look that an employee had touched me. Contrary to my expectation that he would apologize readily, he smiled and apologized half-heartedly. His insincere apology made my whole body tremble and I cried. I steeled myself. With a trembling heart, I shouted with all my sincerity, scolded him, and took a photo of the shop while saying I would write about what happened to me on the internet; only then did he offer a proper apology and beg for forgiveness. He tried to give me back the money for the item I had bought, and the employee also apologized saying he was truly sorry. I politely refused the returned money and left. My heart was pounding even as I walked out the door.
I felt like I was standing alone in the world. That feeling was frightening and scary, but now I could handle things on my own.I felt like an adult.I felt that now I could break down any wall in the world.I thought I had become quite brave andstarted traveling with more energy.
Me after the gap year
"I became certain about my dream."
In fact, before I left, I was more than anyone elsea practical personI was. When someone asked me about my dream, I would list the companies I would join from number one to seven. When I did, people would praise me, saying I was decisive, smart, and that it was impressive I already had a clear dream.
While resting by the Seine during my trip to Paris, a street painter asked if he could sit next to me, so I said yes. While talking about variousthings, I asked about dreams. When I asked the painter, 'What is your dream?' he looked at me with a puzzled expression. Pointing to Van Gogh's self-portrait hanging on the wall of the Musée d'Orsay across the way, I asked again: 'You know, a dream—becoming a famous painter like that one, or making money...'
The street painter's answer changed the direction of my life. He answered my question like this.
"I already have enough money to be happy. To buy you a meal, I just have to stand over there and sell one painting. And on that bridge where I paint, I'm the most famous. Everyone looks at my painting and smiles in bliss. Above all, I'm free. My dream is simplyto live my whole life keeping this same feeling."
After returning to Korea, someone asked me, 'Sinae, what's your dream?' I hadneverorganized it in my head, but the answer came out before I had time to sort it out.'My dream is to become a writer — to be able to be happy while writing like I am now.'
After taking a gap year,before I knew it,I had taken a step closer to a deeper version ofmyselfI felt like I was able to approach myself. Looking back, my old dreams were also related to writing, so I don't know why I used to make them look cool. The 141 days of experience, rather than making me mature, allowed me to get closer to my trueselfand made it possible to approachIt was a time. I took another leave of absence for the next projectbut I'm not afraid at all. I can't describe how excited I am by the feeling of getting closer to my true self one step at a time.
A message to young people planning a gap year
"I hope you find a dream that makes your heart flutter just thinking about it."
Since finding my real dream, I now start each morning with an overwhelming feeling. It's strange. In the past I thought my true dream was to overcome fierce job competition and get into a top company... The dreams I held then seemed vaguely cool but they didn't make my heart race.
«Desideriamo il desiderio dell’Altro».Come disse Jacques Lacan, potremmo portare dentro sogni fasulli, plasmati dalle aspettative altrui, anziché i nostri veri sogni. Spero che tu possa trovare quel sogno autentico che ti riempie il cuore al solo pensiero. Prenditi del tempo, anche solo un anno, per trovare il tuo vero io. Ti prometto che non te ne pentirai.
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